hey, so i'm just going to write on here because no one knows the address to this blog anyway. I don't think. I'm totally being wayyyyyyy too impatient about this whole bill thing. For all i know he could have just been acting that night, although from the looks of it he really wasn't. Do you remember what people say about him? Just remember that. Don't think that you can change him. You can't change him, he'll always be the same person. I just hope he remembers what a connection we had, what good friends we were. After seeing that again i want it so badly, i've just got to be careful. I hope he's willing to be friends again, willing to tell me everything. Because that was the magic of it before, him telling me everything and me telling him everything. Just don't get distant from Christina, Lara. Bill is second place- i was once, he can be too. That's one thing about him, he's very high maintenance. But just from seeing him Saturday, i remember exactly why we became friends in the first place. That kid knows me, and I know him....VERY well. More than anyone really. I wonder if he told crystal all the stuff he told me. I wouldn't mind if he did, then i wouldn't worry about that angle of our friendship. Whatever, i need to STOP thinking about this. Just wait till the letter gets there, we'll go from there, no need to overwhelm him. And plus, you must make it look like you have things to do here at college. Why are you trying to make yourself look like someone you're not? you're a loser right now lara, with no friends and nothing to do. Well you do have things to do, you're just not doing them. Like your paper. You just sit around doing nothing because you've given up on school. You need to do your objectives for your scene. And your obstacles, do that right now. I will, thank you very much. But you should at least be going to dinner or going to the gym or something. Or taking medicine for whatever you have right now that's kicking your ass! OR, you could be practicing your songs for jury. Come on lara, so many things you could be doing, and what are you doing instead? Sitting here writing on a blog that no one will ever see. That's so pathetic lara, you need to go home. Where you do things. Cuz you hate the computer there now. I guess that's a good thing, stay off it. But you know you'll stay on it because of Bill. He has a way of getting to you. Don't let that happen again lara, it doesn't work. But I'm honestly not attracted to him any more, it's a completely different feeling. There's as much feeling as there was before but it's completely platonic, it's like how i feel for christina. Extreme friendship love. It's great to realize that, because I was so guilty for what i was feeling before. I don't have to be now. Oh well, maybe i'll write more later, i actually have something to do now.

-Lara
- posted by Lara @ 4:38 PM